30 Reasons NOT to get married before 30

Has the potential to boost the self confidence of all the romantic singletons out there. 30 reasons you should think again before deciding to marry if you're waayyyy below 30!

1. Because you have one life to live, give yourself time to grow, if not fully at least mature to the place you need be...... it won't be perfect but at least you'll have few regrets.

2. Marriage is not for trial and error, it is just as important as any major surgery. You must be in the know as well as plan and prepare yourself mentally, financially, etc.

3. In this day and age, not too many people in their 20's are equipped to start a family. Are you somewhat secure in who you are as a man or woman, are you ready to totally commit to one person? For those of you who believe in open relationships, as well as those of you who follow beliefs that allow you to marry more than one woman. How the hell are you going to be an asset to two if you have no idea what it is to be loyal, love, respect, appreciate and communicate with one. Come on people you set yourself up for people to see how crazy you are, regardless of "what you're claiming to believe"!

4. Do you have a stable job, are your finances secure enough to go beyond your needs?Do you have a savings you are capable of living on?

5. Unless you just happen to be fortunate, the odds of finding someone that is mature and committed is hard, especially if you live in a big city. Everyone wants to have a "good time" for as long as they can.

6. People who are usually below 30 consider themselves young, beautiful and a good catch. You don't need to deal with that kind of mentality for they will find it hard to commit due to the fact that they are so "desirable" and "Gods gift to the universe". In some cases they may feel that you are deserving of them and wonder into wonderland to try marriage. I can bet that in less than 2 months they will be back on their high horse in wanting to be luved by the world.

7. Before turning 30, living life in your 20's allows you to know you. Your likes, dislikes, desires, passions, everything that makes you the mature man or woman you desire to be. So that when you do enter a relationship, you enter one that allows you to be true to you as well as your partner, making your relationship less stressful and life more relaxing.

8. You have more than enough time after graduating to settle in your career. This doesn't always apply because some people are fortunate to be successful sooner than others. If you are a late bloomer, don't be dismayed, good relationships aren't based on if you have a job/career a handsome bank account or a corner office. More than likely your essence and what you can bring to the table besides your genitals, a bank account or a nice car. If you are ambitious, you are bound to succeed financially making yourself as well as your new found family happy.

9. Only a select few (in their 20's) know what they want in a marriage and actually practice and live it when they get married.

10. Is anyone thinking about only being with one person when there is so much to do, so many people to meet and have a great time with. Yes you can be married and do this as well, but there is that thing called jealousy, or maybe control or insecurity. Where your better half thinks you're having way too much fun and may immaturely go seeking fun elsewhere. It's something when you can love and allow one to be free, be themselves as well as be in your life! (btw you dont have to be from another planet to do this!) when you LoVe and you're LoVed there is a freeness that comes with it, not threatened that NO one, or anything will come between your relationship. Yes jealousy may surface every now and again, but this jealousy is healthy.

11. There aren't too many people that marry before thirty who can have a relationship that involves, respect, trust, loyalty, unconditional love through an open relationship. What would you know about that? Then again there are exceptions to the rule!

12. You'll be at an age where you are ready, able and willing to bring children into this world. Having the energy and wisdom to educate as well as raise them, if need be by yourself!

13. You would have had more than enough time to date, as well as know what you indeed nEEd in your relationship. You may have even made mistakes, but if you are fortunate the individual you made the mistake with, may be the one you'll end up marrying.

14. Gives you time to travel, do all that you desire to do, whether by yourself or with friends. You get to let your hair down in ways that you wouldn't if you are married. Not to say you can't do all of the same things when you get married, but everyone's schedule and finances doesn't always allow you to experience that which you would being single.

15. You are able to save, instead of spend, spend, spend. Whether for a home, a vehicle, investments, travel. You're not working in order to live, your reason for existing precedes a paycheck to pay bills and buy groceries. You will have money prepared and ready for whatever plans you have for YouR future.

16. Gives you more than enough time to be reckless, if you survive those reckless years and just so happen to be disease free, try commitment and maybe you'll be content. If commitment doesn't work for you, 30 more years of recklessness is coming up!

17. 30 means to have arrived, whether mentally physical, spirituality, financially, it differs for each individual, take advantage of your life prior to thirty to perfect one of the above areas.

18. You don't want to make the same mistake twice or thrice. Who wants to be on their second much less third marriage before thirty! Failure as well as immaturity is written all over that!

19. At this point there will be no need for excuses, if there is, only you will believe them! If anyone else does---you're gOOd!

20. If you have been amazingly dishonest prior to turning thirty, you should be quite content with who you are at this point as well as with your choices, actions and intentions. Work on improving you, if that doesn't interest you, don't continuously complain when shit doesn't work out or backfires.

21. Following the leader is not going to work when having your own to contend with, just because your friends got married out of college, doesn't mean you have to. Be a trend setter and do something that makes sense as well as has longevity. How are you going to handle what you are not ready for?

22. Your better half as well as yourself will be more accepting/understanding due to maturity and experience. Finding the right person may be hard, but being able to exercise fairness, patience and understanding when you meet the right person, takes you to another level where loyalty consideration and unconditional resides. Rushing into a marriage does not confirm anything neither does it magically bond you. Time always tells a true tale and if it is meant to be.....it will be! Trust and believe this!

23. More than enough time to Vent!!! everyone has their own shit to deal with. Keep your baggage to yourself!

24. Marrying to escape a situation is more or less voluntary imprisonment, just at another location.

25. You made it this far.....your tolerance for handling stress should be a piece of cake. If not you'll be a nervous reck for life!

26. Being lonely or broke doesn't mean get hitched immediately! For those of you who fall for these types, this is one scar that will be permanent! FYI: Finding someone to be with does not get rid of loneliness, insecurity, self destruction, envy, jealousy, laziness, and Vices. Before you know it they will be blaming all of their ISSues on you!

27. Less regrets, chances of being scorned is slimmmmmm

28. Because I said so LoL!!!

29. Uh so what your parents got married when they were 17, one thing has nothing to do with the other. Pressure from anyone is unacceptable! Need I remind you the era they lived in is completely opposite to now---- Everything has changed. Before options weren't available, women didn't have "choice" and stayed at home. Today women have taken on so many responsibilities, inside as well as outside the home. Single parents, entrepreneurs, laborers, the list goes on......face it so much has changed. Next time someone pressures you, send them an itemized list ie: $50,000 for wedding, 500,000 to purchase home, $100,000 for vehicle (that's just for you), and another cool $1,000,000 for petty cash.

30. Last but not least....you shouldn't be having unprotected sex with someone who isn't marriage material.......yeah yeah yeah ...it happens to all of us, but be on top of your game and try not to slip up! Soon you will be wondering.....How in the hell did I get caught up in this? I didn't sign up for this. I was suppose to be having fun, now you are miserable, broke and only 25.

"Marriage" or whatever word you choose to use is for two people who have found each other in the midst of this life and know as well as understand how they enhance as well as can be enhanced by their better half. It is a union where two halves come together and become one. This can only be understood and experienced by these two.

P.S. For those of you who really believe, and I don't mean the kind of belief that causes you to believe because you heard someone say it and now you want to do or try it just to prove you can also do "it"! Nooooo---- For those of you who truly have found your other half, you're finally connected and the power and force behind your connection has projected itself and fear is no longer there, by all means if the feelings that you have for each other is indeed MuTuaL, work your magic! For there is no power that is greater. No need for me to explain, if you know what it is to truly love and you are loved unconditionally - you know exactly what I speak of. Skies isn't the limit because it will definitely go beyond that. Best of wishes to you and yours------->ciao

Vonda G. Nelson

Hindsight is 20/20

A 'Show don’t Tell' Assignment:

He felt the earth press onto the soles of his feet at every step. His right toe accidentally got caught in one of the crevices on the road and he fervently tried grabbing the air to keep balance. He felt a tiny bead of sweat trickle down from his right temple to the long overdue side lock that he sported. He used the back of his right hand to give one quick swipe across his forehead. His head had started to hurt by now. He turned back and looked at the road he had just traveled. He could see a thin sheet of still water at the horizon. He stopped and started rummaging in his knapsack for a bottle of water, just as his mouth began to water.

“Funny how even the mere mention of water is enough to get one thirsty!” he noted. He sloshed a mouthful down his throat careful enough to not spill even a drop down his overalls. His once bright blue overalls now looked unrecognizable. He had a big blotch of mud on his left knee cap, a few paint stains on the chest, soiled pants tearing at the ankle and a general faded color that screamed out loud – ‘I have been washed a million times now already so please let me go!’ He resumed his journey again on the straight road that he saw ahead. He knew he had a long way to go but couldn’t afford rest till the night. He felt like looking back again but he knew the sheet of water would tantalize him rather mischievously. It had already cost him the first quarter of his bottle and he reminded himself that he had ages before he would reach Timland. One step after another he continued.

“I really hope that this heat goes away soon…I have been walking for hours at a stretch now…I wonder why there are no birds around here…Flying in such weather would be fatal…I remember the Greek father son-duo who flew at the sun in wax wings and the son fell down as the wax melted…Oh, that’s too many suns! I wonder what their names were…I wish Father were alive, I could’ve asked him…On second thoughts though, it is good he never got to see me like this…O, how I loved his fountain pen…I wonder where it is now...If it is anywhere in the rubble that I’ve just bid goodbye to, I’ll never get it back…Rubble! It strikes a bell somewhere…Barney? Was that his name? Barney Rubble…I remember hearing his name somewhere…oh yeah at the Electronics store down Merrill Street! The things that children watch these days…at least they would have learnt how to live with rocks and stones now that the time has come…wish I had stayed a little longer at Merrill Street, but I had no choice…His eye patch scared me more than anything else…I wonder what his eye looked like below the patch…The normal eye looked sinister enough to terrify people…His call couldn’t be ignored though…He would’ve killed me...”

He moved his fingers delicately from the bottom of his left ear lobe to the opening of his lips and down to the chin. He felt a chill through the back of his spine and shuddered so violently that his toe got stuck in the crack on the road once again and he stumbled. A kick on the ground and a loud swear in the air made him at peace for the moment. He turned back and found the sheet of water staring at him, as though inviting him to trace back his path. He tore himself from the sight and turned around to face the horizon.

“I don’t want it, I don’t want it…Even if I take the name of what I saw or anything related to it, I might feel like taking some! And I can’t afford to as I have very little of…Don’t say it, I don’t want it…I wonder why there is a mirage only at the back though. I should see one in front of me too…All I see is the boy with the big brown eyes looking at me…the boy who was meant to be my next victim…the boy who I saved to get the scar…I remember how his eye patch was the last thing I saw before I fell to the floor…blood dripping across my face and hands…the glare of that one gray eye that I still cannot forget…But then I saved the brown eyes…those beautiful innocent eyes with which he looked at me…smiling…I couldn’t do it, I’d decided…After all the tasks I’d done for him, I wouldn’t do this one…his eyes were too endearing for me to even take a step ahead…Oh, did this paint scrape off from the wall? I remember seeing a lizard crawl by…I hate lizards…Now I remember why I went to the Electronics store…to get away from the lizard! I hate the man who had come to give the call…I wish the call had never come…I could’ve died…I escaped with only a scar the first time, second would be next to impossible, I’d thought…God’s ways helped me though! O what would’ve happened to me had the earthquake not taken place…I wouldn’t have lived to see these ants scurrying away on the road…How different was I exactly two weeks back…nothing called God in my life to ponder over…those beady brown eyes have saved me today…This is His way of saying thank you for not harming His child…I feel lighter now…”

He stopped again to rummage in his sack, but this time to take out a tiny flask. Took one generous gulp, smiled and kept it back securely. There seemed to be a spring in his step now. He did not turn back this time.

“God made alcohol…O how thankful I am of Him! What would I do without it?! Timland shouldn’t be far ahead now…I remember his gray eye tell me once that they never had anyone in Timland…all I want to do is get away from him and his people…Wow, where did this cool breeze come from? Funny how alcohol makes you feel so happy in a minute…Funny how the weather always agrees with your mood…The sun is on its westward journey now…Timland shouldn’t be that far…She said I ought to reach before the sun sets…She looked pretty at her age…Maybe I should’ve spoken to her longer…Maybe she would’ve liked to join me to Timland…I would’ve had some company at least…Strangely her voice seemed familiar…comforting more like…I don’t remember my Mother much, although now that I think of it, her voice singing me to sleep form some of my earliest memories of her…the primary reason why I even carried on my talk with that pretty-faced lady…I wonder what her name was…Lily? Yes, it was Lily as she reminded me of lilies too…I haven’t seen a single flower on this road…I guess they got uprooted…or were they never there before?! I haven’t seen flowers in a long time…I remember the gray eye peering at me, ordering me to pick up the single lily that was on his table and go to the graveyard and place it on a gravestone…I couldn’t read the name etched on the stone…I wonder who he even cared for so much…If he did, he might as well have gone himself…The graveyard was eerie…I remember I came back from there drenched in rain thinking of my next victim…the brown eyed boy was the one after him…What would my epitaph be? I hadn’t cared a darn about it when I exited the graveyard…I was so different then! I’m thankful now…more thankful than ever for my life…to start over…Oh, I see something in the distance…it looks like a store…”

“Hey I want to write something, can you write it out for me?”

“Wassit you wanna write?”

“Epitaph: He was born twice.”

“There ya go mister! You new here?”

“I’m going to Timland.”

“This is Timland, Sire!”

He took the paper, folded it neatly and kept it safely in one of the many compartments in his sack. He happened to catch his reflection on a mirror in the store and saw himself smiling after a long time.

Privacy

If the photo allows you to become a paprazzi,

and the blogger allows you to become a reporter,

and youtube allows you to be a film-maker,

then what's happened to privacy?

- Eric E. Schmidt

  CEO, Google Inc.

  Member, Board of Directors, Apple Inc.